Learning to Crawl

Evangeline in Nana's hot tub in South Florida. She's a big fan of the floaty.

I've written little since the baby was born and it's because I've been completely enthralled with life as a new dad. I'd assumed that I would have much more time in my life as a Ph.D. student and dad than I've had. I planned for time consuming and useless activities that never came to be. Perfect example: making a music video with Evangeline called "I Just Had A Baby" to the tune of "I Just Had Sex." Still an entertaining idea, but no time for it.

Evangeline doing a lazy Supergirl. Usually she
pushes her legs and arms out.

Shortly after Evangeline was born, Mimi and I met with the local Parents As Teachers consultant. The Parents As Teachers program provides resources and information on the development of your children to new parents. When I had a chance, I let her know that she was almost never in front of television (except for short periods with Mimi and I) and that we were reading together every night. In a very kind way, she let me know that my work was all well and good, but she wasn't likely learning anything at this point. She said rather that Evangeline was instead learning to associate books with the intimacy of being near Mom and Dad (which can create a lifelong love of reading--my ultimate goal). When asked what more I could be doing, she told me the most important thing I could do at this point was to learn to crawl. It's difficult for a planner and checklist writer like myself to get my mind around the value in just laying on the ground, talking to Evangeline in baby coos and just staring at her.

Here's what I've learned about fatherhood thus far:

(1) It's not hard to be considered an "involved dad"-- To a completely pathetic extent, the bar is low. Nurses, Pediatricians, the Parents As Teachers consultant have all remarked to Mimi how nice it was to see an "involved" dad. When I've asked for elaboration, they basically say that an involved dad means being around. In my experience, there's definitely something sexist about this as "involved moms" are just...well...moms.

(2) Diaper changing tables in men's rooms are a rare blessing-- I don't know why. Mimi and I will both go some place. I'll change Evangeline in the men's room and compare notes with Mimi. It's not uncommon that I'll be using our pad on the floor of the men's room while there's a changing table in the ladies room. And when there is a changing table, they like to block stalls and urinals with the changing table. Which gets awkward.

Weirdest diaper change? I was in a gas station off the interstate and changing Evangeline on a rare changing table (which was blocking the sole urinal). I began cooing to Evangeline: "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?" I wonder what the guys in the stalls thought.

Evangeline with her grandnana

(3) Don't try Supergirl and have your mouth open-- Evangeline likes to be lifted above my head. She also likes to spit up when lifted above my head. I'll just say I only made this mistake once.

(4) Dads are okay but Moms are magic-- I can do everything for Evangeline (almost)--diaper changes, baths, bounces, Supergirls, read aloud to her. But sometimes, the only things she needs is to be near Momma. I guess it's fair. Their bodies were connected and everything.

(5) Babies make people smile-- especially true in Florida, where America comes to die. If you bring a baby anywhere, it's like Children of Men. People stare. People stop eating. They point. Their brows furrow. Is that what I think it is?