And now we are both 31...

So I wanted to do a separate post in honor of Greg and I both being 31. Its amazing that 31 feels so much older, not to mention I feel so much older now that Greg is 31 too.

Greg had an amazing birthday thanks to generous family and friends. Here's some highlights from the many birthday celebrations we had last week to celebrate our main man in the Perreault House.

Grandma Carri and Lenie made Daddy cupcakes!

Evangeline wanted to get her daddy a "hair bow" which is actually a bow tie for his birthday.

Three birthday cupcakes for three decades.

A sombrero at Agave.

Post Agave Ice Cream Cake with 30ish candles and help from Evangeline to blow them out.

Scaring ourselves to death in the air at the City Museum.

Daddy and his girls ride the City Museum Ferris Wheel.

An end to our St. Louis adventure, Daddy his girls and his Bro Dan.

Question: Will next baby be wearing blue or pink?

Trick question. The right answer is neither because neither Mimi nor I believe our child needs to be gendered as soon as they pop out.

Mimi and I went for our “gender” appointment last week and in preparation for it, we knew we’d be happy no matter the outcome. But we just decided to find out because we are again, as with Evangeline, in a period of transition. If knowing that cancels out one question mark and leaves one check mark, then it is worth it. And indeed, as it turns out, the technician would have had trouble keeping it a secret. I mean, I’m no expert but it seemed pretty obvious to me.

We’re having another little girl! We really couldn’t be happier. I already know all the Disney princesses, all the characters in Sofia the First and Dinosaur Train and have developed a healthy appreciation for re-re-re-re-listening to “Happy Snowman.”

I must say though with this many women in the house, I may end up living in the backyard with Wylie. He’s got a pile of sticks in the corner of the yard that looks kinda comfortable. My father and brother-in-law suggested I build a barn. I’ll need to start saving cardboard boxes. I find it strange to write “another” little girl, because just from what we’ve seen of P-nut, she couldn’t be more different from Evangeline. In our ultrasound pictures of Evangeline, it was nearly impossible to get her to sit still long enough to take a picture. In her gender exam, she was spread eagle and doing some sort of strange zero-G acrobatics. In our ultrasound pictures of P-nut, we have to work to get her to move. A little more calm.

Now let’s not get crazy here—I’m totally expecting hours of exhaustingly chasing another naked little girl around the house to get her in a diaper—but she may be at least incrementally calmer. That said, like her sister, she’s beautiful. And in comparing ultrasound photos, P-nut and Evangeline look and awful lot alike. Two peas in a pod. I suspect this means a lot of boys will be hanging around my house starting about 12 years from now. I’ll plan to buy extra yard equipment so I can put them to work when they come by the house. In case it rains, I’ll need to think of some indoor activities I can have them help with. I’ll take up shooting so they can help me clean my 12-gauge.

Now for the next question, do we have name? The answer is yes, we do.

If we learned anything from Evangeline it’s that lots of people have opinions about what you should name your child: family, friends, complete strangers. And we don’t really care to hear them. So we’ll share the name when she’s born. All I’ll say is that if you’re among those who hate Evangeline’s name (“Too long!” “Too fancy!” “That doesn’t even sound American—why didn’t you choose Jennifer or something?”), you’ll probably hate this one too. But hey, she’s not your kid.

Evangeline’s going to have adjustment period to the new baby. To celebrate after the last ultrasound, Mimi and I bought a stuffed tiger for P-nut. When we brought it in the house, Evangeline had trouble figuring out why she couldn’t have it. It looks like a kid toy and it’s in my house…. We talk with Evangeline about P-nut often and hope that helps her prepare for new little girl in the house.

One thing we’ll need to think about is what the options look like for schooling/daycare for P-nut. She won’t be here long when she’s of age, but we’re bummed that the Student Parent Center is closing. It certainly wasn’t free, but it was a good nearby option for school for Evangeline. We’ll miss it when it’s gone.

Christmas in July and Big Sister Evangeline

 As Evangeline’s shirt implies, she will soon be a big sister! Mimi and I are expecting a new baby around July 25^th (Christmas in July, as Mimi is fond of saying). Mimi thinks it’s a boy, I think it’s a girl.

It sure would be easier on me if it was a girl. I already know all the names of the Disney princesses, how to (kinda) match girl clothes and have gathered the importance of chocolate in coaxing even a toddler female. With a boy I would need to prepare myself for that whole locking horns thing you see on Bambi, start watching NASCAR and develop a healthy appreciation (if there is such a thing) of monster trucks.

But whatever you are, baby P-nut, you are ready for a ride. I’ve decided to write a short guide to prepare you for what’s in store in the Perreault house.

(1) Your house will never be clean—Nope, it’ll be an absolute mess. It’s not just that your Dad and Mom are busy people but that your big sister is certifiably destructive. If you want the house clean, most likely you’ll have to clean it. Be prepared to step on downed LEGO towers, and petrified Cheerios. This state of affairs is also probably a result of #2.

(2) The Perreaults never stop moving—And I mean that in the most literal way possible. We wake up, we work all day, we play hard. And by play hard, it should be clear that your Dad runs marathons and your sister pretty much does the same (measured in circles run around our kitchen table).

Sleeping doesn’t necessarily stop us. Your Dad doesn’t always sleep (not healthy) and your sister….Well, lets put it this way. I tucked your sister to bed two nights ago and then in the morning when I went to wake her up I found the furniture in the room had been rearranged and she was sleeping naked under her desk. ???

(3) You will be inundated with books—You’d better like books because they’ll be coming down around your ears. I don’t even know how many bookshelves we have at our house—in part because we’ve begun using furniture not meant for books, for books anyway. Want to read some Gramsci? On it. Prefer less Marxist, more contemplative. Dostoevsky on the way. Remembered that you’re a baby? Oh yeah, that. We’ve more Sandra Boynton, Dr. Seuss and Llama Llama than you can shake a stick at.

Also, we have reading time every night. You’ll be expected to chill-the-heck-out for the short period of time in which this occurs. This will include chapter books like Anne of Green Gables, Wizard of Oz and Peter Pan & Wendy.

Also we get three newspapers. Three. Breakfast time with newspapers is sacred. Trod carefully when you want to do puzzles or dance to the Belly Button song during breakfast.

(4) Hope you like school—That’s pretty much all we do is school and we love it. We’ll expect you to love it to or we’ll think you’re weird. Your Mom and Dad both are academics and spend an awful lot of time thinking about big ideas and figuring out how to communicate those to students. So no, we will not let you be that kid in class staring at your (crotch) smartphone while the professor is lecturing.

(5) Did we mention breakfast is sacred? We also make awesome breakfast. In recent years, I’ve been in charge of egg tacos and your Mom has been in charge of pancakes. They each happen about once a week. Are you excited? You should be.

(6) Your sister loves you—This mostly likely will be expressed in early years by drawing a Hitler mustache in marker on your face, dressing you like a princess or grabbing you by the hand and forcibly maneuvering you toward whatever activity she thinks you should do.

You Mom and I have been talking about you with Evangeline. We point to your Mom’s belly and say, “This is your baby brother/sister.” Evangeline is pretty indignant and points to her own belly saying, “No, my baby brother/sister right here.” As you can see, she’s more than willing to carry you herself.

(7) You will have killer clothes—Let me just do some math for you. You have three aunts. Three (Edgerly, Sarah and Catelyn). They’re all beautiful and they know how to make you beautiful (or handsome). Also you have three (four kinda) grandmothers and a grand-nana. They all will ensure that you are just killing it for pictures. Not to mention a stylish momma.

(8) Yes, your stuffed animals do talk—Don’t be ridiculous. Just because you hear a strange voice and my mouth is moving doesn’t mean I’m making the sounds. It’s totally coming from your stuffed animal. Also, your stuffed animals have attitude and typically take your parents side in any dispute. It’s just a coincidence.

(9) There will be a lot of music in your life—Notice I didn’t say “good” music. We all sing a lot. What we lack in talent, we make up for with enthusiasm. You should see me do air guitar while singing Bob Seger. Scratch that. You will. So just wait for it expectantly. Also we sometimes do awkward, very white, three-person dances. These are occasionally followed by piggyback rides. 

(10)               We love you—We’re not perfect, God knows. You could have won the lottery and ended up as the child of some rich, recently retired Silicon Valley tycoon but nope you’re with us. What we lack in funds and societal sex appeal, I think we make up in compassion and care for each other. You are coming into a loving house. We can’t wait to meet you.  

Greg's 30!

Tuesday was Greg's birthday. He's finally 30 just like me! We celebrated with breakfast out, before school, and then a BBQ dinner out with our friend Joy.
I also picked up a double chocolate ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery. Evangeline loved the cake and singing happy birthday to Daddy 20 or so times throughout the day.

Greg let Evangeline open one of his gifts.

Family breakfast date.

Evangeline opening another present.

Greg cleaning Evangeline's hand after Ice Cream at Buckingham's BBQ.

Comix Book Greg got with Maus and other comix from Art Speigleman

Ice Cream Cake.

Evangeline loved daddy's birthday cake.

Its beginning to look a lot like...

Ok so Evangeline "loves" Christmas. She loves everything about it so far. We knew she loved Christmas trees (from last year), but she also loves Christmas lights, music and even has enjoyed the stories we have read her. I'll post more, but I just thought I would share some of our family's Christmas moments with you (so far) this year.  My favorite thing is that she sings along to Christmas Carols in the car. It makes me so happy my little girl loves to sing.

Greg reading Evangeline the Nutcracker (thanks Mrs. Julie).

Greg got the tree up after Thanksgiving we decorated later in the week.

Evangeline has her own ornaments on the bottom part of the tree. Again working on being "gentle"

Wearing a Santa Hat.

Helping Daddy hang lights.

Lights up on the house in time for Advent.

Setting up the Charlie Brown Nativity.

Learning to Crawl

Evangeline in Nana's hot tub in South Florida. She's a big fan of the floaty.

I've written little since the baby was born and it's because I've been completely enthralled with life as a new dad. I'd assumed that I would have much more time in my life as a Ph.D. student and dad than I've had. I planned for time consuming and useless activities that never came to be. Perfect example: making a music video with Evangeline called "I Just Had A Baby" to the tune of "I Just Had Sex." Still an entertaining idea, but no time for it.

Evangeline doing a lazy Supergirl. Usually she
pushes her legs and arms out.

Shortly after Evangeline was born, Mimi and I met with the local Parents As Teachers consultant. The Parents As Teachers program provides resources and information on the development of your children to new parents. When I had a chance, I let her know that she was almost never in front of television (except for short periods with Mimi and I) and that we were reading together every night. In a very kind way, she let me know that my work was all well and good, but she wasn't likely learning anything at this point. She said rather that Evangeline was instead learning to associate books with the intimacy of being near Mom and Dad (which can create a lifelong love of reading--my ultimate goal). When asked what more I could be doing, she told me the most important thing I could do at this point was to learn to crawl. It's difficult for a planner and checklist writer like myself to get my mind around the value in just laying on the ground, talking to Evangeline in baby coos and just staring at her.

Here's what I've learned about fatherhood thus far:

(1) It's not hard to be considered an "involved dad"-- To a completely pathetic extent, the bar is low. Nurses, Pediatricians, the Parents As Teachers consultant have all remarked to Mimi how nice it was to see an "involved" dad. When I've asked for elaboration, they basically say that an involved dad means being around. In my experience, there's definitely something sexist about this as "involved moms" are just...well...moms.

(2) Diaper changing tables in men's rooms are a rare blessing-- I don't know why. Mimi and I will both go some place. I'll change Evangeline in the men's room and compare notes with Mimi. It's not uncommon that I'll be using our pad on the floor of the men's room while there's a changing table in the ladies room. And when there is a changing table, they like to block stalls and urinals with the changing table. Which gets awkward.

Weirdest diaper change? I was in a gas station off the interstate and changing Evangeline on a rare changing table (which was blocking the sole urinal). I began cooing to Evangeline: "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?" I wonder what the guys in the stalls thought.

Evangeline with her grandnana

(3) Don't try Supergirl and have your mouth open-- Evangeline likes to be lifted above my head. She also likes to spit up when lifted above my head. I'll just say I only made this mistake once.

(4) Dads are okay but Moms are magic-- I can do everything for Evangeline (almost)--diaper changes, baths, bounces, Supergirls, read aloud to her. But sometimes, the only things she needs is to be near Momma. I guess it's fair. Their bodies were connected and everything.

(5) Babies make people smile-- especially true in Florida, where America comes to die. If you bring a baby anywhere, it's like Children of Men. People stare. People stop eating. They point. Their brows furrow. Is that what I think it is?

In the beginning...

Here's a few photos from the hospital and Evan's Birth : )

Super hero daddy and Evan at an two hours old.

Getting footprints done. Granddad holding Evan's hand.

Post womb bath.

All clean and ready to go.

Evan and Mommy in the recovery room.

All wrapped up like a package from heaven.

Week one of Evangeline (or as I am calling her Evan)'s life was pretty normal for a baby. It consisted of a lot of eating, sleeping, crying and changing clothing and diapers. Greg is still planning on posting something about why we chose her name, but he is really busy catching up on school and work from the week he took off.

Mom, Dad and Evan in front of the Women and Children's Hospital on Thursday

Coming home from the hospital was hard, but with my parents in town it was a lot easier than it could have been.

Home in my bouncy chair.

We came home Thursday. It was hard not having all the nurses and hospital staff to remind me of feedings and checking the color of Evan's diapers. It was also hard to keep track of my own pain medication. Several things about the hospital reminded me of a spa. I got a sinus massage one night and the hospital even hosted a congratulatory meal for us our last night there.
Evan went to her first pediatric appointment on Friday. She had gained 6 ounces since leaving the hospital. The doctor also said she was developing very quickly. He commented on how good her head control was. Evan even made a dirty diaper for the doctor.

All dressed and ready to go home.

During the week she spent a lot of time with her Grandad (my dad) and Grandma (my mom). Spoke to all three of her aunts, Nana, Grand-nana, great aunts, second cousins, friends, Greg's former students from the Washington Journalism Center and many others on Skype.

My dad and Greg managed to get the radiator for the Mustang dropped off and fixed, but mainly we just played with Evan and got settled back at home.

We had great friends provide meals for us beginning on Thursday and continuing for the next week and a half. Flower and gifts arriving daily. Neighbors stopping by to say hi and ask if there was anything we needed.

Granddad and Grandma and Evan

Birth Class Buddies, James and Evan

My dad went home Sunday. And our friends Brenda and Kyle and their baby James, who was born the Friday before Evan, came over. Brenda and I met in birth class and were walking buddies during our third trimesters. It was so special to finally lay our babies side by side.


Greg went back to school and work on Monday.
Mom and I went to the grocery store on Tuesday (my first trip out of the house since the pediatrician), she had been to the grocery store earlier in the week and spoke with a large number of the staff there so several of them congratulated me on Evan's birth.

Evan and her Grandma

Mom hung out a few extra days and went home Tuesday. It was so helpful to have her around. I'm grateful that she cleaned house and helped me keep sane in the first few days home from the hospital.

Discomfort Sets In

I've made it to Week 38. I'm sitting here patting myself on the back because I have made it so far but we still possibly have a month left until her birthday.

38 weeks! She could arrive at any time now.

That said here is my public pat on the back.

I have been really good so far. I have complained very little throughout my pregnancy. I have not felt sick for the most part. I've had some indigestion and heartburn, and a little difficulty breathing in my third trimester--but for the most part things have been good. I moved across the country, got the house ready, and sadly I've gained 40 lbs.

That said this week has been hard and I think I can say I am tired, and ready to not be pregnant anymore. I don't like the amount of effort it takes me to get out of bed to walk to the bathroom. I'd like to be lighter again. Honestly, I'm promising myself, I will never get this heavy unless I am pregnant again. I am tired and hungry most of the time. I feel large (ok huge). My clothes are limited. I have two pairs of pants that fit, four pairs of underwear, no bras and only a few shirts that cover my belly all the way. I miss my cute pre-pregnancy clothes.

The end is near enough...and she could arrive at any moment. I'm anxious, excited and a little uneasy about being a parent. Everyone keeps telling me I'll do great. Honestly, I do feel prepared. I've done my research, but at the same time I know I will be constantly learning and thinking on my feet as a parent.

That said, thanks to all who have supported me throughout my pregnancy--especially Greg who has put up with so much and even at 3 a.m. (when I felt so big and uncomfortable) was able to make me feel better. My little girl is so lucky to have a daddy like him, but not as lucky as I am to have him for a husband. 

Who will she look like?

There are many questions going through my mind as I am in the last month of pregnancy. What will Miss P be like? What will she like and not like? Who will she look like? What will her favorite book be? Her favorite movie? Her favorite color? What color eyes and hair will she have?

I thought it might be fun to post photos of her relatives as babies here so you can see what she might look like... For fun let's play a little game of "name that baby." Leave your answers in the comments... Later this week I'll post the answers as well as some of Greg and my some guesses about her personal traits.